001 spotlight

Role-player - NOH Cheating
(12/27/00 1:20:32 pm)

Title - 3'4'

[The picture follows SXW interviewer Bambi, who is in the back, down a corridor and through some swinging doors. She reaches what seems to be her destination, a cold, dank looking room with a kind of Japanease twing to it as the decorations imply. Bambi turns to the camera a speaks quietly, almost whispering but can be easily heard]

I am waiting here for a newcomer to the SXW, he invited me here via a telegram and told me to find him in this room, he goes apparently by the name Noh Cheating and apart from the fact he is Japanease that is all I know about him.

[Bambi is wearing a tight red top and a long summer dress. She looks around the room anxiously obviously looking for the interviewee (I think is the right word) as she does her hair swings from side to side, looking as shiney as ever which soon after she swings it a note appears at the bottom of the screen 'Bambi uses L'Oreal, because she feels she is worth it. Buy from all good shampoo selling stores.' She finally turns back to the camera and whispers again.]

I have been waiting five minutes and he appears not to be here maybe punctuality is not his thing. I will give it two more minutes.

[A two minute timer sponsored by SXW.com appears at the top of the screen. With just under 30 seconds left a scream comes from Bambi.]

There is something in my dress

[she screams. She lifts it slightly up and the camera focuses down on a very, very small Japanease man, who looks like he has been having the time of his life, inside Bambi's dress.]

You pervert

[she screams]

Why are you in here anyway?

[She asks nervously]

[The small Japanease man who cannot be much more than three foot has a big smile on his face. He is wearing blue dungerees and nothing much else, that can be seen. His bald head shines in the light light as he struggles with his English.]

Err....erm...how, how you say? Errr.....I have a errr, ermmmmm meeting, ah, noh, noh, noh, a interview, ya ya ya a interview with you.

[The sentance takes him about 40 seconds and Bambi looks confused. And speaks again nervously]

I only have one scheldualed interview today.

Errrrrr.........erm.........me, me, me, interview with me.

Bambi 'No, it is with an SXW newcomer called Noh Cheating.'

[The man smiles and points at himself and again stresses]

me, me, me, I errrrrrrrrrrrrrr Noh Cheating.

[Bambi raises her eyebrows with the ultimate surprised look on her face.]

You, but you are too small to be a wrestler.

[The man we now know to be called Noh Cheating speaks and indignitly states]

I a wrestler. [and then proudly] I NOH Cheating and I Japanease.

Bambi 'Ok, well next time don't be quite so, how yo say? perverted.'

[NOH Cheating gives a cheeky smile]

I errrrrrrr, I sorry.

[He runs away and comes with some flowers and hands them to Bambi.]

Bambie 'Oh thankyou,'

[she bends down and rubs his cheek]

'Shall I start the interview then.'

'Ya, ya, ya pleeeeeease, then we errrrr, how you say? errrr go to bed?

[His smiling face recieves a slap which sends him flying to the floor, he apoligizes again and Bambie starts the interview.]

'So NOH Cheating what brings you to the SXW?'

'Errrrrrr, ermmmmmmmmmmm to errr stop cheating. Ya, ya ya.'

'Oh right, how do you plan to do that?'

'Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Every match.'

'Sorry, you have lost me.'

'Welllllllllll, you know, errrrrrrrrr, how u say? Every match, I can, I errrrrrrrrr, ringside go and errrrrrrrrr stop all cheating, NOH Cheating.

[The last two words are said wagging his finger. Bambi turns to the cameraman and says.]

I cannot work under these conditions, lets go and get a burger.

[The little Japanease man thinks she is talking to him and takes her hands, she slaps him to the ground and walks off with the cameraman as NOH Cheating gets to his feet and waddles his little chubby legs after them, the picture fades and the newcomer has been introduced.]


SXW WEEKLY SPOTLIGHT'S FOR	01/01/2001 - 01/07/2001